Please grade this SAT essay on a scale of 1 to 6 and tell me where I need to improve. ?

I'd probably grade it a 4. Your vocabulary is good but you didn't use a fwe of the words correctly. Plus your introduction is bad. never say 'in the following paragraph.." and for transitions do not use Firstly, Secondly. Work on a strong thesis statement that outlines what you plan on writing. and a pargraph should be at least 4 sentences